cAughT oN camEra

tHere was This onE Time..,
i waS randomLy browsIng a haRd disK whiCh belOngs to an aRsehole fRiend Of minE to coPy soME musiC fiLe..
InsteaD i Found somEthiNg elsE..
nOo..,iT's noT poRn.. HUaah..
hE acTuallY kEpt a CollEctIon of oUr frienDs phOto caUght In tHe moSt ugLiest, awkwaRd exPressIon..
hE eveN haS a namE for his collEction, 'Suicide Bomber'
Chee bYe riTe..!! HAha..
cUrious tO kNow Why hE caLls It 'Suicide Bomber'....??
taKe a LooK aT the pIcs belOw...ahHAH.. eNjoY!!

mY baLi pIcs

mY baLi trIp was a BlasT!!!
LikE serioUsly.., we have been DriNkinG lIke nobody busiNEss, non Stop since tHe daY we gOt therE.. wE weRe dRunk evEn before wE could recover frOm ouR prevIous hanGovers(mUltiple-hanGovers..haAHha..iT's a musT try experiEnce..).. Bought likE 4 boTtles of liquor fRom the aiRport and boTtle(SSS) of juNgle Juice..
Kuta Beach was SpectaculaR in every possible way.., thE sun, thE biG waves, chEap icE coLd beeR venDor, aND the besT is Of couRse.., loTs & loTs of niCe looKing BOOBIESSSS. nYEheh..
hoW i wiSH singapOre was siMilaR... thEn i woUld have haD a new Hobby: bOObs gazing..

kUaLa lUmpuR

EarLier tHis year in JanuaRy, i waS in kUala LumpuR toGethEr wiTh all the easT siDer peElerS froM teaM 'C'. iT waS an oRganised tOur by 'G' diVisiOn. I was hEsitant at fiRst tO make thaT trIp aS i was gOing wiTh a bUnch of pOliceman/wOman. yOu knoW hw They arE usuAllY labelled as 'Boring.' Hell yeaH i waS wroNg. I was In foR aloT of surpriSes. and i have to adMit.., daMn dO they knoW how to let lOose. the besT paRt oF tRip waS defiNitelY the friends i maDE. as usuaL, oVerseas tRip wIll not be coMplete for me wiThouT havIng multiplE hanGoveRs, daiLy club routinE, shop anD oF couRse.., the FOOD!! i'm a fooD lover, whAt can i saY... and i mEt wit an oLd aCcomplIce froM kualA lUmpUr.., AlviEra babY... hUahHah...

hEre arE somE of The phoTos i managE to sAve before mY comp caME crAshIng.eNjoy!!

turNinG 22

iTs 5 mins past midnitE whiCh meanS iM oFficially 22. I've bEen getting 'suA TUA' msGeS from My frienDs .. HahHa.. thX skUnks!! to Think of iT, damN it'S a NightmarE..soOn im gOin to Be 30, Then 40 Then 50 Then 60 Then 70 tHen HopefuLly i diEs aftEr thaT.. HeHeE.. iT's been quiTe a jouRneY... not alwayS a sMooth onEs, buT iM surviVing.. I kiNd of miss mY family back iN sinGapore the moSt. Im seateD alone at an internet cafe in bali thInkiIng oF theM..SerIouslY.. soB!SOb!... haHAhHa..
buT I guEss i'LL just havE to hoLd thosE thouGhts back caUse Im headiNg ofF to skY loUnge sOon foR a Pre MooN paRty .. i juSt couldn'T lEt thoSe negative emOtions cLouds my minD. it'll wIll simplY rUIn mY mooD.. I'm in thE mOod to paRty YO!!!hUahHaha.. Im so gOnnA geT laId toniGht..HUauUaha...(Im joKing skUnks.., Im a VIRGIN..,rememBer...??) anYwaY..,ive gOt to go Now.. wanNa get readY.. HahHaha.. iM all sexiTed... talK to skUnks soOn whEn i get back To singapoRe.. WEeEEEeEee

i Thought of writIng an entrY beforE i force mysElf to woRk..
i camE across This entRy whiCh belOng to a frieNd Of minE..
shE's jusT so randoM and weiRd la...
But i lIke it...

whaT shE wroTe:
been away,on a melancholy road to nowhere. roaming around empty streets,making friends with stray cats. i went on a merry-go-round but i didnt get cotton candy. climbed up twenty storey flats and took pictures of the pouring rain. went to the beach and drown my feet into the sand. watched the sunset and poked a dead blackbird with twigs. walked on a yellow brick road and kept a spider in a bottle. i named him bambi and made him fight with armies of red ants. bambi died and then i said a little prayer.

awEsome riTe..??
Hahha...
i kInd of like the namE baMbi...
i shaLl start caLLin aLl my frieNs baMbi..

calling.......rinG rinG
friends pick up.....
me: heLlo baMbi!!!!
friend:huh..?who sia baMbi..??

me:u la....hUahhahha... ok BYe!!
friend:sioW fella!!! Go n diE!!!

husH husH baD niTE!!

uRghhhh...,it's laTe anD i'm noT abLE to gO baCK to mY lalA lanD anytIme soON...
i FreakIng goT woRk in the moRning....
i'M so hype uP for no apparenT reasoN..
maYbe i'm suFferiNg from insoMnia..
maYbe i'M just noT tired enUF..
tOo baD i'm Not married...,iF i were, maYbe i coUld do my wiFe a liTtle and then off To sleep.. HHeheH...
aAaaHhhh...,a MAid wiLl do.... maybe i sHOuld gEt myselF a maID...maID-turn-pornstaR..HEeZ...u know..,liKe the one in roLe plaY... dOmestIc workEr bY daY.., woNder sexwoMAn by niGHt... aaHh my kInd of a superhero...

sHould i helP myself..?? nahHhhh.. i'm so uninspired to do so...
i'll end uP havIng a cramp on mY hand anD havIng thaT part of my Body all Numb..hEez..
i coUld do soMe workOut BUT I'll be sweatiNg and theN i have to take a bath which i haTe doing when everYone's asLeep...(anD No!!! Not bcauSe i'm afraId)..
i Hope i can thiNk of something sooN...
maYbe i shOuld coMplimenT myself to sleeP...(e.G aku handsOme,akU handsome,akU cuTe, aku handsome..nyehhe... ok laMe.., I kNow..)
whateveR it is..,talk to u sKunks sooN..
wEeeeeee...

tHe peRfect waY to BeaT the brEathaLyzEr Test

hEllooo peOlple...
i BrOught gooD news For aLl...
gEttIng caUGht bY thOse aSshOles (hEhHE..*wiNks)wHile drivIng under the infLuence of alcohol miGht just be a thiNg of the PAst..
i miGht just have the peRfect solUtion to beaT the BreathaLyzeR tESt.. HUAHhHAhA

faCts: iT was prOven to Work by a geNius 18 Year oLd unDies-eaTIng daredevIl...nYehE
will i dO it..??
HahHah...sIOw!!!!
NEVER in my riGht staTe oF mind wiLl i evEr be caUght doiNg suCH a thIng..
tOo gooD to be TRue...??
jusT read the artIcle beloW...

sO dOn't be shOcked tHe next tIme yOu exPerienCe sEeinG oNe of ur frienDs
teaRIng, bItinG, chEwiNg anD swallOwing theIr undiEs...HahA..CB!!
PerfEcT solUtion..??
yOu deCide foR urselF......

mY fascInatIon wiTh pHotosHop..

i alway havE thIS HugE hiDden iNtereSt iN phoTogrApHy..
esPecIally the nUde, expliciT oNes..woHooo..nYHeHe(i'M jokinG hOr!!)
i diD consiDer purSuing it in laSalle buT looKing at the hiGh couRse fEe, i decide nOt too..
i aM no mR-loTs-of gReen-bucks guy.. $$$$$$$
infaCt i was Born wiTh a chEap wooDen spOon in mY mouTh..nYeHHe..
aiTe..,lEts go bacK to the TopiC..,
PhotoshOp foR me iS lIke a vibraTed huMAn dicK In a puDenda..
iT reallY does woNder..

uGly+pHotOshop = bRitney spearS
pUdgineSs+pHotOShop = tYra baNks
gorgeouS lOokiNg + phOtoshOp = Me(nYehHe)..

aLl u neEd is creatIvity..
i am No experT buT i thInk i did a prettY gooD joB wiTh some..
enOugh saiD..,
enjOy a few oF my completed 'masTer piecEs'

My fiRst HIgh FashioN shOot FeaT. gaY top model Yuzni miChelle
foR plaYgaY maG..
fOr models bOoking plS call 1800-yuzNi-wiLl-blOw-You.

mY imaGinary GF whO getS me sexciTed whenEver..,whErevEr..nyHEhHe...

aS promiSed..

picS of myseLf BOTAK..

dun laugh2 hoR..!!

cHeap LabouR

kebabi-an....,i have to serve YOUR country...much of being a good patriotic singaporean huh...*winks
embarking on a new phase in life...
no big deal..
it's just two years..
to think of it again..,DAMN it's two freaking long years=24 mths=730 days..wahhhh cannot tahan sia..
don't get me wrong..,
i am physically ready for the torturing part..,BUT mentally 70%..
i'm gonna miss my family the most..,my bantal wangi.., the privilege of lazing ard all afternoon, frequent hangouts wit my friens,
weekdays clubbin(ladies nite).. msn-ing late at nite and........haHHAh
anyway i am trully greatful for being enlisted in the police force..
maybe as a career perhaps..
yeah u can cal me ANJING GOVERNMENT all u want...
i dun care..,as long as i dun have to dig my own shit hole and camp out in jungles like busuk army boys..
i noe my absence's gonna be missed by many..
dun ok..
haha..
but for sure i'm gonna miss ALL u skunks..
dont sad2 hoR..,
i'm not goin to a war or anytg like that..
do pray for my well being...
tkcr skUnks!!
until then.....,

mAboK keLinG..hehe

fOr ur viewiNg pleasuRe onlY...

my pics(aboVe) before i started booze-ing..

Location:zouk KL

handsome rite..??

hahaha..

ok people like tessa will start saying "eeEwwWw no shame sia this jep..."

this is me after the whole zouk tHingy..
lIKe whaT the fuCk am I thiNKinG..,
i Could have beeN roBbed Sia... go ahead and giggle ur hearts out...but let me warn you that what i'm doin is totally irresponsible...,

alThougH i wenT wiTh the companY of foUr of My mat Friends.., iT is nOt aN excuse to start taking ur safety forgranted..thank god we make it back to homeland in one piece..if that wasn't wise enough,we actually went bck to a gals apartment, someone we just get to know at zouk.. hw dumb can we get.. AND NO NOTHING HAPPENs AT THE APARTMENT..we're too drunk to evEn have a fuckIng erection..haha..dun laugh hor..this is fact!!

this is what we drank:40 tequila shots and a total of 6 jugs(whisky dry,vodka and bourbon)

no. of people drinking:5 (me,ogy,shahrul,zaini and arhan)

total spent:RM500+

this friend of mine seriously ASTOUND me..
i know him as a sweet-talker-slutty-manwhore
and i know he is one..
no offence dude..
haahhah..
not anly that,he's capable of describing
something so complex that i myself have difficulty defining..
the topic:LOVE

•Ω۵<<<-----FЯЁ@K ©ØNnЁ©TأØn™----->>>۵Ω• says:
jep...define me e word true love
**jEepErs CrEepeRs**__...*!!i waNnA bE pEteR paN of nEverLaNd!!*__... says:
asshole..
**jEepErs CrEepeRs**__...*!!i waNnA bE pEteR paN of nEverLaNd!!*__... says:
too complex..
**jEepErs CrEepeRs**__...*!!i waNnA bE pEteR paN of nEverLaNd!!*__... says:
u try define me one..
•Ω۵<<<-----FЯЁ@K ©ØNnЁ©TأØn™----->>>۵Ω• says:
well....utk aku la...
•Ω۵<<<-----FЯЁ@K ©ØNnЁ©TأØn™----->>>۵Ω• says:
love is like magic....
•Ω۵<<<-----FЯЁ@K ©ØNnЁ©TأØn™----->>>۵Ω• says:
it cant be explain bt rather its felt
•Ω۵<<<-----FЯЁ@K ©ØNnЁ©TأØn™----->>>۵Ω• says:
we dont belive in magic simply bcoz its a trick of e eye bt yet we're still amaze by it....
•Ω۵<<<-----FЯЁ@K ©ØNnЁ©TأØn™----->>>۵Ω• says:
same goes for love...some dont belive in love bt yet feel it...
**jEepErs CrEepeRs**__...*!!i waNnA bE pEteR paN of nEverLaNd!!*__... says:
wahhhh..
**jEepErs CrEepeRs**__...*!!i waNnA bE pEteR paN of nEverLaNd!!*__... says:
applause..
**jEepErs CrEepeRs**__...*!!i waNnA bE pEteR paN of nEverLaNd!!*__... says:
u read frm somewhere..
•Ω۵<<<-----FЯЁ@K ©ØNnЁ©TأØn™----->>>۵Ω• says:
fuck...nope...tadi aku lagi kerja n kept tinkin bout diz someone askin me e question....n she dont belive in love....im tryin 2 prove her wrong so diz is wat i said 2 her

wow..!!
read that..is he good or what...
and yes for a moment i kind of endorse with what he's saying...
but then again it's him..
nahhh..,i guess not..
*winks

aN intereStiNg specimEnt

alamak u guys shld check out this
high self esteem 'raticat'...(tts what tessa call her)
watanabei cannot tahan sia..read her caption and let me warm u
u'll pukE uR guTS out..
sEriouslY...
eg. (1)So adorable, arent we?
(2)Charmaine Maria Clair... Im absolutely Fabulous.. Something no1 else can ever b..!!(e best so far)
(3)Hot, Irrisistable n sexy.. Nothing u will ever b!!
(4)I aint no minah. I aint no sl*t. Im juz me.. Electra Da Sex Goddezz

hw can u say this bout urself in comparison with others and not expecting people to talk..
anyway if u guys assume i'm writing this post just to discriminate her
then u guys are totally wrong..whats there to bitch when i don't even know her..
it's more like a constructive criticism..
i've got my reasons...
pArt of it is to educate people not to be pretentious.
it'll only wreck your whole image and personality..
it's just so sad that i had to use her as an example..
if u think what i'm doin is totally overboard then go ahead and tag me..
i wanna hear from you..
anyway here's her friendster link http://www.friendster.com/sexgoddezz
happY surfinG...
lesson learned= *always be humble
*don't ever condescend
*being boastful is a disease
raticat= one of the pokemon's creature

i writE when i feel that there's a need to...
something that i wanna share wit u people..
i don't just write about stuff(eg.who i meet.., what i do)..
i find it silly..
HAhaah..
ok bedek sia jep...
the truth behind me blogging..
dun laugh hor..
acTually.., i'm suffering from late-respond-disorder..
i can't seems to give a coherent respond nowadays..
so i figure out the cure is to work that brain..
by writing i mean..
don'T blame me hor..
it's been awhile since i'm in school..

i officially declare myself 'kenTalism'